That’s what I’m on (and I’m jazzed). I knew something was up - a sense that things were moving big time under the surface of my normal busy life. Yet both that sensation and the normalcy seemed to go on forever. I’d been expecting a big bang of some sort and didn’t realize “it” had already happened until a few weeks after.

This is titled “Gaia’s Jewels”. I’m having fun with the batik method on rice paper and adding watercolor crayons.

I follow a couple of online art blogs. For years, I’ve passed on ads for art classes and workshops posted in them - never felt inspired to even click on a link. The impulse to act on this one was a strong one and following through on it has led me to Gwen Fox and her Master Class for artists. She’s an award-winning artist herself, as well as an art coach, and she’s clever-good at helping you pare down to bare bones - your strengths, your dreams, your desires.

In the past few weeks I’ve felt surprised, awed, and unraveled. In my most floundering moments I wondered how to put myself back together. Happily, Gwen has designed her course to offer the tools and the guidance to help you build on and to follow your own unique artistic voice.

This one started from a photo of trash left by the side of the road. The idea is to view the every day stuff differently. Can trash be beautiful? In an abstract, maybe. Untitled…suggestions?

When I was young, I did this automatically (before the adult thing got in my way). I had running creative conversations with myself that sometimes got me into trouble (see attached video below). And it’s also why I’m so crazy excited about this unfolding. I’ve wanted to feel solidly connected to this part of me for a long, long time.

“Santa Fe Rain”. Here, I’ve used neutrals and surprise bits of color to add interest. This is watercolor on yupo, the polymer paper. I’ll be showing you more of this paper later.

I’m already in love with Gwen and with my fellow artists in this amazing group. Equally intimidated by their collective talent and committed to enhancing mine, the only way forward was to be completely open to whatever the process might uncover. To myself and to them I said: “This is who I am. How can I be better?”

“Pulsar”. This piece is the batik method on rice paper. It was really fun and challenging and exciting as I discovered watercolor crayon is a way I can build on a design after I’ve already waxed the paper. More on this method later as well.

I’ve been stretched and reshaped before and always, always it’s been a very good thing. I know I can trust the uncertainty as well as the wisdom of this moment. My plan is to let my kid go wild, to eagerly follow where she leads and to keep telling my inner critic to bug off. I would like to remember that failures come from reaching and are good things to have happen along the way. (You have my permission to remind me of this when I forget.)

There will be a lot more later on to talk about. For now, here’s my very first warts-and-all video selfie. I was stressed out…what will I say?! Better yet, what do I want to say? By tackling that homework assignment, I’m one step closer to the prize and I’m really glad I took the challenge.

Talk with you soon!

Judy

I’m sitting at my desk watching rainbows flit across my walls and ceiling. A prism hangs in the living room window, open to the breeze. The prism was a gift to Mom from my sister Jean, so I feel close to them when this happens. I have begun to stop whatever I am doing and focus fully on the lazy twirling of this short-lived moment. Too soon, the sun shifts, the rainbows disappear, and life resumes.

My theme today is “focus”. The key, for me, is finding and maintaining a fluid, balanced, ebb-and-flow focus between meeting deadlines and watching rainbows. Like the frames of a film, our lives are constructed from a series of moments. By not being present in any one of them, it is lost, along with whatever rainbow blessing it might have held.

You might call me a speed addict. I have the flow part of focus down. Granted, my idea of flow can often be more like the force of a firehose. For the most part, the faster I move and the more I cross off my list, the better I feel about myself. Before, this just seemed the right way to live. I did accomplish a lot, but the high was elusive; it never seemed enough. It still feels rewarding to be busy like that, but I’d much rather slow down, enjoy what I am doing, and trust that everything always works out well for me.

The ebb part of this balance includes watching classic movies. “Now, Voyager” is one of my favorites. In it, Bette Davis plays a timid, mousy (imagine!) old maid who meets Claude Reins, psychologist extraordinaire. He knows that she must extricate herself from her disabling family and encourages her to go on a solo ocean voyage. Free from familial expectations, she transforms into the glam girl we know and love, meets the dashing Paul Henreid, aims her newly acquired self-confidence where it is most needed, and makes things happen.

I felt a connection to Bette’s role in this movie. It was time to get out of my comfortable creative zone and shake things up. “Now, Voyager” began its (and my) journey as a landscaped-oriented abstract with collaged paper.

The movie title is based on the 1941 novel “Now, Voyager” by Olive Higgins Prouty who borrowed from Walt Whitman’s poem “The Untold Want”. In entirety it reads:

“The untold want by life and land ne’er granted,
Now Voyager sail thou forth to seek and find”

Sounds exciting. Just like that, sail forth? As appealing as dropping everything and going forth sounds, it also feels a teensy bit scary. I prefer my freedom within structure; I like knowing that when I do return from all that sailing forth, this voyager will find her home and life, although altered by the journey, familiar and intact.

Focus: How do we get it and how do we keep it? At the time of the opening paragraph, I had been focused on paperwork and scheduling my day. It took a rainbow flitting across my face to get my attention. Focus, of course, is key to getting what we want. But to what degree must we? Sometimes my focus gets me lost in the details, the busy-ness, and I think I miss the stuff that makes my life worthwhile (like dancing rainbows or seeing friends or simply sitting quietly).

In a nutshell, what we focus on, gets bigger. It follows that by holding focus on what we want and following the steps that are revealed, we can get to where we want to be. We are all voyagers truly, always in transition and transformation, and our focus must shift as our needs do.

Changing focus (our theme for today): Here I pulled off some collage paper; reoriented the picture; added texture gels and pastes; and began layering color with fluid acrylics, crayons and pencils.

The formula for getting what you want is simple: Decide what that is and only think of that - not what anybody else thinks you should want or what you think you should want so others will approve. What is your hearts desire? What is your secret passion? What dreams did you dream when you were young before anyone started messing with you?

I’m telling you, magic happens when you begin pursuing your dream. Opportunities show up and stuck bits shift. Most of all, you feel really, really happy which paves the way for more good things to come. (Kinda like clearing out clutter to see what stands out).

That’s where I am now, receiving aid on many fronts - emails and personal feedback from those who love me, creative inspiration through dreams, meditations, conversations, reading materials, and inner nudges. All lead me onward, one thought at a time. I feel supported and encouraged and not alone. Because of all this, I do not mind not knowing where I’m headed. I’m just having fun and that’s a win.

Looking at options along the way. Turn it upside down, trim off the other part and it could be a volcano...

So…how do we get the right kind of focus? One aspect is scheduling time for the important stuff. And by “important,” I mean what feels big to no one else but you. Energy leaks such as procrastination, unresolved anger, guilt or regret, or doing for others when you’d rather be doing for you, can zap energy and block brain space. Ask: What’s important to me right now? And then schedule whatever time you can for that. We’re aiming for a sense of accomplishment so even 10 minutes can make a difference.

Showing support to my creative self is vital to me. Whenever possible, time for her comes first. Creativity defines me and making time for it brings satisfaction on a number of levels. Next, I fill time slots for other things important to me like studying French and keeping up on office work, as well as reading and exercise and rest. I schedule chores as well.

This way, I am free to play knowing that I will do all the adult stuff in its proper time. Another benefit to this type of scheduling is that I feel compelled, when a particular time slot comes up, to get going. And, I experience fewer evenings wondering what the heck did I do all day? That’s another win.

I whited out and painted over parts of this painting so many times I lost count. When it refused to look like anything else other than a melting ice cream cone, I put it away.

Always exploring, experimenting, expanding - me in a nut shell. I would venture to say it’s the same for you. Especially when we think nothing is happening, it is. When life feels stuck, most often the real action is occurring off stage. Time and again, seemingly random and sometimes haphazard events lead us to where we want to go. It’s a bit of a trick to back off and just let things unfold. I have experienced varying degrees of success with this. No matter what, I still can feel grateful for the clarity brought by slogging through a definitely not-so-fun time.

It can be very frustrating when life does not go as desired, but, like this painting, it can also provide extra satisfaction when we stop pushing and decide to see where it goes. Sooner or later, things coalesce and the end result can feel even more rewarding.

It took a shift in focus and a classic movie to show me the ship in this abstract painting. I, too, journeyed forth to discover this conclusion. “Now, Voyager” is now beautifully framed and ready to hang in a show starting this month.

As an aside, this letter to you was also a year in the making! Everything in its own time, right?

Bon Voyager, mes amis!

Judy

When I was little, I loved watching the movie “Mary Poppins” starring Julie Andrews. I loved everything about Mary. “Practically perfect in every way,” I would say to myself in the mirror, practicing my best self-satisfied face. I also practiced snapping my fingers, like Mary Poppins and her wards, hoping to magically clean up all my messes.

I never got the hang of finger snapping (or whistling for that matter) and the kid in me is certain that’s why it never brought results. But, my childhood introduction to all things magical still serves me well. Metaphorically, I’m snapping my fingers this very minute. And I am conjuring fun new things.

Paisley Thoughts

An example is the painting above. I purposely chose a medium I could not control easily - fluid inks on Yupo polymer “paper” - to allow for serendipity and perhaps a truer portrayal of my emotional moment. The process starts with pouring on the colored inks, then manipulating them with rubbing alcohol applied to a brush; then a stamper, a sponge, or whatever suggests itself. It’s almost like finger painting. Fun to do. Surprising results.

To continue the theme of kid memories: Ever played the game “Boggle”? Briefly: Lettered die are held captive in a sectioned plastic tray. Pop the lid on, shake like crazy and then let the die settle. All players have a limited time to make as many words as they can from adjacent letters only (diagonal readings accepted). The one with the most words, of course, wins.

Now, swap letters and die for the roles, expectations, rules, and standards I use to define myself and my actions and you now know what I’ve been doing this past winter.

I call it the Winter of Clarity (“Now is the winter of our discontent….”) I’m glad to be on the other side of that. Grateful. Appreciative. And very much happier. Like Boggle, it feels as if all the shook up bits of me have fallen into place and I am now busy constructing new definitions.

One new creative definition is this take on a water lily, a design I’ve carved into mat board with an Xacto knife. In this case, the mat board is used as the focus of interest instead of simply as a framing tool.

As for magic, I know that embracing my life situations with a childlike spirit really works for me. This quality, this way of embracing life, is one I’ve been busy unearthing for some time. So much adult stuff on top of it! What. A. Trip. My recent digging felt like the type of spring cleaning brother Max did one time to our garage. Afterwards, I remember Mom and Dad wondering to each other where had certain things gone? (The garage did look amazing, though.)

Being childlike for me allows more freedom of movement, less structure in form, and sometimes a total disregard for how things are. Here I’ve done this with the background I painted for the water lily on butcher paper using fluid acrylics in a somewhat carefree application. I incorporated soft gel gloss into the paint as well to extend play-around time before the colors could dry which definitely fed my kid.

This shake up time has left me feeling a whole lot lighter, happier, younger. I’m letting myself off the hook more and doing my best to not push myself so hard to get things done. I’m actually enjoying the journey (yikes - sorry to use that phrase but it fits) and especially the time in kid mode. (Interestingly, the stuff that needs to get done, is, and I’m having more fun in the doing.)

This is the complete water lily image with the carved mat board design layered over the painted background. A rewarding creative endeavor with the added benefit of pleasing both the child and adult parts of me.

I’m currently working on a triptych of stylized bamboo which I’ll submit for acceptance into a show later this spring (same carving method but this mat will be painted gold to cover up the rubber watch band markings I didn’t realize I was leaving on the nice white mat board - serendipity, right?)

Here’s another slant on water color painting I’m exploring with childlike eagerness: It’s the batik wax resist method. Again, a layered process that comes with surprises, but this time using paint and hot wax. Draw a design, then lay down hot wax on the areas you want to remain white. Continue alternating layers of paint and hot wax to continue creating the design. Finally, cover the whole painting in wax and allow to dry completely. The final steps are to carefully crumple and then flatten the paper and then iron off the wax. The depth of colors revealed is intriguing to me; it looks exactly how I imagine magic should look. Which makes the kid in me really, really, happy.

Batik Method: Deep Water Dreamtime

Well, that’s all for now kids…hope you’re all having fun, too!

Judy