Posts tagged future self
Take the Bounce

I hesitate to admit this, but I think my paintings may actually be gone. I’ve been super busy with my condo redo: culling, clearing, cleaning, repairing, repainting, reorganizing. Moving stuff to storage, tearing things down, giving things away. The process seems to have lasted for months. Happily, my place now feels spacious, open, uncluttered, inviting - bright white walls, select items on display, and - ahhhh - room to breathe.

First light pigment wash with melted wax spirals added after. I adore turquoise - probably my now favorite color.

First light pigment wash with melted wax spirals added after. I adore turquoise - probably my now favorite color.

It was a major upheaval to live in all that messy chaos, moving piles from here to there and back again as I progressed from room to room, sleeping on the couch because my bed was piled with stuff. My life screeched to a halt, no room in my brain for creativity or restful relaxation; I could only think about the next item on my list.

2nd wash adding medium blues and cobalt blue, some blue-green.

2nd wash adding medium blues and cobalt blue, some blue-green.

I felt scattered, drained yet determined, knowing what a great thing I was accomplishing for my Future Self. This preoccupation caused me to misplace some paintings. I was taking them to Forrest’s to be videoed. Somewhere between my place and his, I set them down and left them. Now they are gone and no one has, as yet, responded to my “lost” notices asking for their return.

Third pigment wash, stronger application with medium values and now playing with dropping in colors to mix as they will.

Third pigment wash, stronger application with medium values and now playing with dropping in colors to mix as they will.

It took awhile for me to remember exactly which paintings were in the bunch. A couple of in-progress pieces, and “Spiralocity” - a cherished painting that was inches to completion and a joy to create. Also, a painting I had recently sold. That feels the worst as it affects another.

Here I’ve waxed over the spirals so I can apply an indigo color wash freely over the whole painting. I deliberately applied the melted wax thick and thin so the indigo could mix in.

Here I’ve waxed over the spirals so I can apply an indigo color wash freely over the whole painting. I deliberately applied the melted wax thick and thin so the indigo could mix in.

I was devastated. Oddly, I didn’t spend too much time beating myself up. That’s a first for me. And a huge win. Progress, for sure. I lived a few sorrowful days, but I’m better now. I took the bounce and realized I can still create. I haven’t lost an arm or an eye or my brain. I’m healthy and loved and I’m already back in the studio.

Final painting completely waxed and ironed. At this stage I had begun applying orange and yellow pencil along some of the spiral curves to add depth and pop. This is when I I lost it and I am still grieving. This painting was magic for me and I’m ve…

Final painting completely waxed and ironed. At this stage I had begun applying orange and yellow pencil along some of the spiral curves to add depth and pop. This is when I I lost it and I am still grieving. This painting was magic for me and I’m very sad at its loss.

I’m still hopeful. Hopeful that whoever has them will feel moved to give them back. But I’m moving on because that’s the best gift I can give myself. Accept the loss, acknowledge the grieving process while taking the next logical step.

This is the painting I had sold to my friend Cindy that was misplaced as well. Watercolor on 300# watercolor paper using the hide and seek method.

This is the painting I had sold to my friend Cindy that was misplaced as well. Watercolor on 300# watercolor paper using the hide and seek method.

Be safe, be happy!

Judy